WhyQuit Joel's Library Turkeyville

Desperate Addict's Parade: Page 2

Desperate nicotine addict's parade: Have you ever ... ?

If desperate, might a cigarette atop a public urinal look tempting?

As suggested by OBob on Page 1, how can we journey from point A to point B without knowing where we now stand? It's entirely normal to minimize and rationalize smoking, vaping or oral nicotine use. Flooded with sobering realities, these pages are filled with the truth about who we each became, real drug addicts in every sense.

If so inclined, email us adding your own personal "Have you ever ..." experience. Together, just one recovering addict at a time, yes we can!

Here's my "Have you ever ... I have. I'm an addict" moment

#25 | 17 Nov 2002 | OBob Gold

Have you ever used tweesers to hold the 3/4 inch-long end of a cigarette that had been broken in half (no filter), and smoked it like a joint until it actually burned your lips, and then, had one last puff for good measure, even though it burnt, and made your eyes water?

I have. I am an addict.

Bob (45+ weeks)

#26 | 17 Nov 2002 | Kita (Green)

Did you ever wake your sleeping child to strap them into the car seat so you could run into the convenience store to buy a pack? I have. I'm an addict.

Did you ever tackle your husband or wife when they walked in the door, not because you were happy to see them, but because they had said they'd pick up a pack for you? I have. I'm an addict.

Did you ever treasure your pack like it was made of gold? I have. I'm an addict.

But never ever again.

#27 | 17 Nov 2002 | AMD33 (gold)

Have you ever quit smoking and broken your cigarettes in two so you wouldn't smoke them? Then later, dug through the coffee grounds and other garbage on top to look for one you didn't break? And when you couldn't find an unbroken one, scotched-taped one of the broken ones together and smoked it -- adding all those yummy burning scotch tape chemicals to the ones you were already smoking? I have. I really am an addict.

But I haven't in quite some time now

AMD33 aka Jessica, celebrating freedom for eleven months, three weeks, five days, 20 hours, 2 minutes and 57 seconds. 3608 cigarettes not smoked, saving $947.08. Life saved: 1 week, 5 days, 12 hours, 40 minutes.

#28 | 18 Nov 2002 | ZAREFAH

Have you ever had a smoking dream? One where you really believed that you were smoking? And you're only going to smoke just one? But you suddenly panic because you realize that you can't smoke just one! You tell yourself it will be okay but you immediately start to feel the crave and you light up another. And inside you feel that horrible sinking feeling because you know you are no longer free? And you really believe you blew it until you opened your eyes and realized you were sound asleep?

I did...just last night...because I am a nicotine addict.

Big hugs, Joy

Two years, five months, two weeks, 10 hours, 0 minutes and 57 seconds. 17948 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,871.87. Life saved: 8 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours, 40 minutes.

#29 | 18 Nov Sept 2002 | MissQ Gold

This makes me feel awful and maybe writing about it will help. Back in September I thought my son had the stomach flu and he was really sick for the whole day. That night I got worried about him and called his doctor who told me I should take him to the ER to get some fluids in him so he wouldn't dehydrate. Well instead of rushing him to the hospital I went out and smoked a cig (you know how long they make you wait in ER's). Anyway, it turned out to be a appendicitis. He is fine now but I can't believe I did that. What an addict.

I have others but believe this was the worst.

Suzi

Time passed 6 weeks, 1 day, 1 hour, 28 minutes, 11 seconds

#30 | 18 Nov 2002 | freefromit GOLD

Have you ever searched parking lots and the street gutters for butts long enough to grab a couple of hits off of? Or the ashtrays outside of public buildings? Have you seen those butts as a potential fix rather than the nasty disgusting trash that they are?
I have, beause I'm an addict. (oh, and the shame when you realize that someone is watching you pick a butt off of the ground, and you do it anyway...because you're an addict...
Marie
2 months 3 days

#31 | 19 Dec Sept 2002 | OBob

The junky inside lives in that realm between waking and sleeping. Had a viscious smoking dream the other night, and, half-asleep, lay there in bed considering my fate, unclear if I'd relapsed or not, should I just get up and go to the store..... Eventually, I woke up completely, and realized it was a load of bunk, and I had no desire to even get near a cigarette, and that not smoking totally rules! .... still, it's scary when you realize how close the junky is and always will be....

one dream away from a whisper.... one puff away from resurrection.

... a liberated addict,

Bob (11 1/2 months free)

#32 | 19 Dec 2002 | AuntBea (Silver)

Have you ever been suffering from pneumonia and hid around the side of the house taking little, tiny, short puffs to get the poison in without hacking your lungs out?
I have. I'm an addict.
Have you ever bought the cigarettes first, and used whatever was left over for gas money?
I have. I'm an addict.

#33 | 20 Dec 2002 | IrishLotus GOLD

Ooooo....I just love this junkie ole thread...

Have you ever seen a pack of cigarettes that was wet with beer and left for ruined on a bar and then sheepishly waited for the bartender to turn around so that you could sneak a few out to smoke cause you were low on cash... I have, because I am an addict.

YQS-

Lotus
I have chosen not to smoke for 2 Months 3 Weeks 4 Days 15 Hours 1 Minute 49 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 2598. Money saved: $649.70.

Pssttt.....looks like OBob is just a "whisper" away from gold

#34 | 20 Dec 2002 | So Gold

Have you ever taken a one day journey to another country (Norway->Sweden) just to fill your car up with duty-free half priced cigarettes and smuggled them back across the border?
I have. Because I'm an addict. (In recovery)

Sten
8 weeks +

#35 | 20 Dec 2002 | Lena (SILVER)

This is a great topic. Talk about honesty. Have you ever chained smoke while drinking TOO much and the next day felt like you were already half in the grave and barely able to breathe? And even amidst coughing so bad you decide that a cigarette will make you feel better!? So you smoke. I have because I'm an addict! Lena
2 weeks 23 hours 59 minutes without a single puff!!

#36 | 20 Dec 2002 | FruityPatti

Have you ever had a new car that you would not even allow your kids to eat in, barely breath in ..and then YOU throw a cigarette out and it blows back in the window and burns a hole in the seat? I have...because I am an addict!
Have you ever been driving in the bad weather with it freezing outside, roll down the window and freeze your children (who are BEGGING you to roll up the window) and you tell them to just wait, it wont take long to smoke (until the next one of course). And of course feel incredibly brilliant because you were one step up on them and threw a blanket in....so you could smoke longer!! I have....because I am an addict!

Patti
My kids have been warmer for two months, six days, 20 hours, 57 minutes and 52 seconds.

#37 | 12 Jan 2003 | HarpoJohn

Have you ever had the excruciating pain of having a lung collaspe and on your drive to emergency you puff down as many cigarettes as you can before treatment.
I Have I'm An Addict.

on the Parade Bob

John 2 months

#38 | 12 Jan 2003 | barb Silver

Have you ever walked to the curb in front of your house and found a decent size butt and smoked it? I have, because I'm an addict...

Did you ever find a butt in the house that was too small to smoke so you took the tobacco out and ate it? I have, because I am an addict!

Barb
11+ days

#39 | 12 Jan 2003 | valeriescleanGOLD

Have you ever "snuck" cigarettes while you were pregnant but thought yourself clever enough to make sure you left enough time gap between your cigarette and your OBGYN visit so when your Dr checked your blood pressure your blood pressure had already dropped to normal and not "racing" from just having a cigarette? I have because I'm an addict!
Valerie
1 week, 4 days, 9 hours of FREEDOM!

#40 | 13 Jan 2003 | Jerm (Gold)

Have you ever taken all of your butts out of the ash tray, emptied the tobacco out of them and rolled them up into papers to smoke them unfiltered... I have because I'm an addict!
Your Quit Brother
Jerm
364 days of being free from nicotine.

#41 | 13 Jan 2003 | Lilycatt

Have you ever picked your old cigarette butts out of the dirt in the garden to salvage a puff? I have... because I'm an ADDICT.

Have you ever locked yourself in the bathroom and lit up, puffing the smoke out the window, and DENIED doing it to your husband when you got caught? I have... because I'm an ADDICT.

Lilycat
5 months

#42 | 13 Jan 2003 | misha (Gold )

Have you ever torn your house up knowing you have a pack somewhere??? Have you ever run up on packs in strange places and realized that your kid hid them because she was scared that you were going to smoke yourself to death? *sigh*

Yes, I have done all of the above, because I am an addict.

#43 | 13 Jan 2003 | David Gold

Have you ever thrown a full pack(s) out the car window only to go back and get out of your car in the middle of a busy street to pick up the smashed pack and salvage as many as you could? I have because I'm an addict.

David
6 months +

#44 | 13 Jan 2003 | Sherry30

Have you ever risked your career to have a forbidden cigarette? After you had been caught once and reprimanded?

Have you ever been late to work so you could have "just one more"?

Have you kept your quit a secret, because that whole thing about telling everyone you're quitting hasn't helped the last 5 or 6 tries and the very idea of you trying to quit is now a joke?

I have. Because I'm an addict.

Sherry
1 week 9 hours

#45 | 14 Jan 2003 | Lilycatt

I dried them in the oven! Why, because I'm an addict

Why, because I'm an addict

Lilycat

#46 | 11 Feb 2003 | BestieUK (Bronze)

This is brilliant!

Have you ever..... gone out with your sister and your baby nephew and managed to remember the cigarettes but not the baby's bottles? Our mum never let us forget that one.

Have you ever..... gone through the ashtray beside your dad's bed and unpicked his old roll-ups and rolled the stinking old dregs of tobacco up and smoked it?

I have done both of these things, and plenty more, I'm sure, because I'M AN ADDICT. GRIM!

But now I haven't smoked for more than 3 Weeks 4 Days and 13 Hours.

#47 | 11 Feb 2003 | Sharie (Bronze)

Have you ever bummed money from a complete stranger or worse - your little children (birthday money), just so you could buy a pack of cigarettes? I have...cause I'm an addict.

Have you ever been late for work cause you were out of cigarettes and you were driving around looking for a gas station that accepted checks? I have..cause I'm an addict.

But I don't do these things anymore cause I quit!!!!! Yippee!

#48 | 11 Feb 2003 | L z l

Talk about brutal honesty. But it's necessary and healthy I guess.

Okay. here's mine (and I am totally ashamed to admit it).

Have you ever had someone you love desperately in the hospital not knowing whether or not they were going to make it through the night, and you actually spent 10 minutes of every precious hour outside smoking your brains out?

I did that, because I'm an addict, and I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself even though he survived just fine.

Lazuli

~ Quit Proud For 3 Weeks 2 Days 8 Hours 21 Minutes 34 Seconds!
700 Forlorn Gag-a-rettes still sitting on the store shelves, unloved, unwanted & Definitely NOT smoked ! ~

#49 | 11 Feb 2003 | LornaMc5

Have you ever... gotten antzy sitting at your mother's side in the hospital because she is on oxygen after having a severe asthma attack due to her smoking. And then you make up a stupid lie/excuse to be able to run outside and stand in the freezing cold to get your fix, and then you go back to her room reeking of smoke - and hear her say, "oh that smells so good, I wish I could have one"...

Have you ever... stood up to speak at your beloved stepfather's funeral and not been able to read your heart felt eulogy - not because you are too sad about the fact that he just keeled over from a massive smoking related heart attack nine days after his 58th birthday (it's true that you are so sad you think your heart might break too

) but you can't speak because you've got the kind of smoker's cough that hits whenever you cry or laugh - and right then, with hundreds of people looking to you on the podium for words of wisdom - you can't stop coughing...

Lorna Mc

so glad not to have used nicotine for 1 week 13 hours 40 minutes and the seconds just keep tickin' away...

#50 | 22 Sept 200 | smokefreeJD Gold

Have you ever seriously considered pawning something valuable in order to have enough money to buy cigarettes? I have... that was about as rock bottom as I hope I ever get in my life. Luckily I still have the diamond ring I got when I turned 16, it's a family heirloom, but it was almost history. Only a drug addiction can make us do something absurd like that.

Jill
4 Months 1 Week 2 Days

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Knowledge is a Quitting Method

WhyQuit Joel's Library Turkeyville

Page created 11/10/19. Format updated 11/10/19 by John R. Polito